


I Want it All

by anywh3r3y0uwant2g0



Series: Ineffable Husbands One Shots [11]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Title from a Queen Song, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, gratuitous italicization, only rated T for one spot of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28011333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anywh3r3y0uwant2g0/pseuds/anywh3r3y0uwant2g0
Summary: “And, oh, it was so romantic-” the angel says passionately.He’d been going on and on about this romance novel for twenty minutes now, and he didn’t seem like he planned to stop any time soon. The poor demon could only take so much. “Oh, angel, must you? Romance is so-”“Wonderful…?” the angel said dreamily. He knew that was not how the demon saw it. Demons can’t even feel love. Which was why he knew this conversation was pointless; no matter how much he loved the demon, and how much he talked about his fantasies they’d always stay, well, just that. Fantasies. He knew from a rational state of mind he’d never get his dream to come true, but that did not stop his idealistic side from hoping.“Saddening,” the demon said disdainfully, as though the word left a sour taste in his mouth.OrAziraphale reminds Crowley that he's not alone.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Ineffable Husbands One Shots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1784653
Comments: 10
Kudos: 97





	I Want it All

**Author's Note:**

> When in doubt, use a Queen song for a title.

There’s a full moon illuminating the sky, accompanied by brilliant stars. Tonight is one of those lucky nights when, by some miracle, a few extra street lights are out and despite the fact that this is the city, you can still spot an impressive amount of stars. The streets are quiet. Everyone is asleep apart from the owls, opossums, and an unlikely pairing of an angel and a demon strolling down the street. 

“And, _oh,_ it was _so_ romantic-” the angel says passionately. 

He’d been going on and on about this romance novel for twenty minutes now, and he didn’t seem like he planned to stop any time soon. The poor demon could only take so much. “Oh, angel, must you? Romance is so-”

“Wonderful…?” the angel said dreamily. He knew that was not how the demon saw it. Demons can’t even feel love. Which was why he knew this conversation was pointless; no matter how much he loved the demon, and how much he talked about his fantasies they’d always stay, well, just that. Fantasies. He knew from a rational state of mind he’d never get his dream to come true, but that did not stop his idealistic side from hoping. 

“Saddening,” the demon said disdainfully, as though the word left a sour taste in his mouth. 

That was not what the angel was expecting to hear. He could imagine the demon thinking love was disgusting, or stupid, or worthless, or- ahem. Best not to diminish all of his hopes. “What on Earth makes you say that, Crowley?”

The demon pushed up his sunglasses (yes, he always wore sunglasses, even in the middle of the night) before shoving his hands into his very small pockets aggressively. “Well,” he croaked out before clearing his throat rather awkwardly. “Whenever it’s Valentine’s day… or any other occasion where romance is being shoved down my throat,” he glanced at the angel without turning his head, out of the corner of his eye. “I just feel reminded of how…” he paused, taking in a deep breath, _“bloody_ alone I am,” the words shot out with a sharpness to them. 

The angel was stunned into silence for a few seconds. “Really, Crowley? What a depressing way to think of something so joyous! That’s not how I feel at all. When it’s Valentine's day, or any other time I am _blessed_ to witness some romance-” this time the angel side-eyed the demon- “I feel hope. Because if two humans could find each other out of allllllll the humans in the world, and love each other _wholly,_ imperfections and all… who’s to say the same couldn’t happen to me?” he finished quietly.

Crowley hummed in something that could be heard as agreement, despite the fact that _internally_ he felt like the angel had just taken a sledge hammer to his heart. Of course he wanted to find romance for himself, _of course._ And there was no way in Hell (or Heaven, for that matter) that he wanted to explore love partnered with a _demon._ No bloody way. No, Crowley was alone. Always had been, always would be. 

The angel’s voice pulled the demon out of his thoughts “Would you… ever be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship?” Crowley choked on the night air. “I mean! Not with me, of course not, that’s not what I meant,” he quickly mended. 

“I-I- w-wh- we- yo- I-” Crowley hissed at his own blasted sputtering. “No,” he answered firmly. “I mean, that is, unless I found someone really, really special. Who loved me back. That is,” he then added with much less certainty, finishing his thoughts with a swallow.

“I see,” the angel replied carefully, sounding deep in thought. 

They walked together in what the angel found to be a comfortable silence that he could easily use to turn the demon's answer over in his head. Crowley found the silence to be deafening, as he willed his limbs not to shake out of their sockets at that risky confession. 

After what felt like hours to Crowley, the angel finally broke the silence. “You’re not, you know,” he said quietly, sounding as though he wasn’t fully there with Crowley, like some of him was still lost in his mind.

“Hmm?” Crowley hummed, prompting the angel to continue. He didn’t trust his voice enough to ask, ‘I’m not what??’

“Alone. You’re not… you’re not alone,” he still sounded distant. Crowley felt faint. “I mean,” now the angel stopped and turned to face the demon, “you may be alone romantically speaking, but alone as in alone in the universe- you’re not,” despite the fact that he still wore his sunglasses, Crowley felt like the angel’s pale blue eyes were peering directly into his soul. Not in a judgemental way, no. In a way that was comforting and terrifying simultaneously; in a way that made him feel truly _seen._

Crowley clicked his tongue, trying his hardest to keep up his collected appearance. “Aziraphale,” he grumbled. “What on Earth makes you say that?” he hated the faint traces of hope he heard in his voice. Despised himself for even entertaining that thought as a possibility.

“Well...” Aziraphale looked away from him, looking rather sheepish. “Well… you have me!” he beamed. Crowley genuinely considered grabbing onto something to steady himself. However, the only thing around happened to be Aziraphale… He _would_ not do that. The angel continued, “I don’t know how comforting that will be to hear, but you’re not alone. You have me, and you always will,” he finished with a small, genuine smile. 

That was it. Crowley felt himself coming fully undone. “Ngk,” was all that came out of him. He knew he had to respond, to say something. Maybe ‘thank you,’ or ‘I’ll always be there for you too, y’know,’ or, what had been itching to spill out of him for more than a few decades now, ‘Aziraphale, I love you.’ He said none of these things. Instead, he croaked out something that made him sound positively pathetic. “You mean it?” Blast his insecurities! His neediness! His fucking loose tongue that apparently had no filter and no desire for self-preservation!

Aziraphale just placed his hands over his heart. “Oh, my dear boy! Of course,” he said it so genuinely, leaning his head towards Crowley to emphasize himself.

Crowley coughed slightly, in order to hide a squeaking noise that was threatening to burst out of his chest. 

They walked in silence for a bit. Aziraphale, feeling pleased that he had expressed his feelings, and Crowley, trying desperately to regain a hold on the English language enough to reciprocate them. 

Once Crowley remembered how to form words he tried to use them. “I’m- you- you’re not- eugh- here- you have- I’m- me- gah,” he gave up. Apparently he spoke too soon. Knowing how to form words was not enough for him to adequately speak his mind. 

Aziraphale only giggled. “What was that, my dear?” 

“Bastard,” Crowley hissed under his breath. 

At this, the angel laughed in a way that would be described as a cackle if it didn’t sound so sweet. 

Crowley sighed aggressively and walked stiffly in silence before sighing again, this time letting it turn into a growl before he spat out the words that should have been incredibly easy to say. “I’m here for you, too. As long as you want me, if you… want me, that is,” he finished softly. 

Aziraphale stopped. “Crowley,” he said, sounding extremely worried. 

Crowley stopped too and, without thinking, put an arm around the angel protectively. “What is it? Are you alright? Do you sense something? Are we not alone?” he hissed quietly, very close to the angel’s ear. 

“N-no, we’re safe, it-it’s fine,” Aziraphale said, looking straight ahead. 

“Then what is it? You’re trembling,” now it was Crowley’s turn to sound worried. 

“It’s just-” Aziraphale turned to face him and their noses brushed together. Crowley shot back almost instantly, retracting his arm from around the angel. They were no longer touching, but the nerve endings on his nose were still tingling from the contact that had lasted less than a second. Aziraphale just blinked at him, slightly alarmed by his sudden jumpy movement. However, he continued, “It’s just that… I mean… of course I _want_ you, Crowley.” 

Crowley’s heart beat in his ears. He had expected the angel to say he had spotted Gabriel or felt a demonic presence or seen a bat fly by or _anything_ other than _that!_ He didn’t know what to say. “Err…” he started but thankfully Aziraphale continued. 

“What I mean to say is… you’re my best friend… and- even though I probably shouldn’t because you _are_ a demon- I… I-I-I-I want you by my side forever,” he smiled anxiously, as though he was trying to convince himself that this was a fine way to feel, and to _admit_ to feeling. 

Crowley didn’t struggle to find the words. He didn’t have to. He only swallowed before saying, “Then you’ll have me.” He sounded a million times more brave than he felt. 

Aziraphale’s smile relaxed into something much more real. “I’m delighted to hear it,” he said, reaching towards the demon and, for one _gorgeous_ split second, Crowley thought he was going to pull him into a kiss. He did not make the demon’s wildest dreams (well- that was a lie. Crowley had much wilder dreams, but an innocent inaccuracy for the sake of implementing a figure of speech is really quite harmless) a reality, no, he only squeezed his shoulder before continuing down the road. 

Crowley watched him for a moment before following quickly behind him. During those few steps it took to catch up to him, Crowley pulled together every bit of courage he could find in the darkest corners of his skinny body and used _all_ of it to casually- very casually- place an arm over Aziraphale’s shoulders once more. 

They walked off together into the night, smiling and- although they didn’t know it yet- in love.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this please leave a comment or kudos, they always make me smile! Thank you so much for reading! <3


End file.
